3 Steps to Coping with Negative Thinking
1. Acknowledge and validate how hard this is.
Many people are struggling with loss, change, and various stressors this year. Denying such feelings causes further self-shame. It’s OK to not be OK! Pandemic living has been tough on all of us, and admitting that you are overwhelmed, sad, or disappointed shows strength. Sometimes just admitting to ourselves and others that we are struggling can provide relief.
2. Fight the spiral of negative feelings.
It’s easy to get caught in a rabbit hole of negative thoughts. Sometimes you need a reminder that your thoughts are just that. Thoughts. You don’t have to acknowledge all of your thoughts as the truth.
Once you are triggered by a negative experience, stressor or thought, it’s not uncommon to experience a slew of negative thoughts. This is because of the way our brains input stress. Emotional stress, anxiety, and depression can trigger a cortisol response in the brain, which then sends messages to the amygdala, which stimulates our “fight or flight” response. This is the reason why we often have similar stress responses (some people cry when they are upset, some people experience irritability, some individuals avoid perceived negative feelings) regardless of the intensity of the trigger.
Once you become upset, similar thoughts and common narratives take over. This is natural, but you will need to actively fight the negative thoughts. It may be helpful to write down a list of ways to combat negative thinking. Place this list somewhere you can easily access in the moment. You may choose to place it by a phone, tablet, computer or notebook, and keep it there until the process becomes more intuitive. Cognitive Behavioral research has shown that this thought pattern will improve over time.
3. Find a positive distraction through actionable steps.
People often think that if they know the “why?" that the negative feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress will dissipate. This is not the case. When one experiences stress, their thoughts are often ambivalent, and they go back and forth, which causes greater anxiety. What they want to ask themselves instead is "what?". In other words, what do I need to do right now to calm my mind and move my brain out of the stress response? It’s the doing of something different that activates their brain to focus on something else, which in turn will decrease their negative thinking.
Here are some suggestions for positive distractions:
1. Call or text a trusted friend or family member.
2. Go for a walk. Get your heart rate up and change your scenery to break up the day.
3. Journal or write. You can use this for venting your feelings. You can write out your thoughts to actively distinguish irrational vs. rational thinking or use a gratitude journal to remind yourself of your strengths and/or available resources.
4. Utilize mindfulness or meditation skills or a meditation app.
5. Use a joyful distraction such as listening to music or a podcast, watching a TV show or a movie, live-streaming a concert or theater, crafting or cooking. Do something that you naturally enjoy!
6. Join an online community, such as an online religious group, educational group, or book club. Ask friends or family to have a Zoom meeting.
